Mickey Z
Cool Observer
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Machine guns in the kitchen
Top of the mornin’, Mick. Here’s a quick story:
When I was younger, just a tall, gangly teenager, I had a summer job as a “Trade Support Specialist” at an institutional broker. It was a good paying job (though somewhat mindless and very corporate), especially for a teenager, and I was working 12-hour days, giving me 4 hours at time and a half pay.
My department was run by a kind alcoholic Irishman and my colleagues were among the only minorities in the company...in other words, I felt right at home.
It was there that I first met G (anonymity is important). He was a black man in his late twenties who was fairly new on the job as I was. We soon became close friends, taking epic walks throughout midtown Manhattan at lunch time talking to girls, drinking a Bud tall boy and taking a few quick puffs of the roach of a blunt...you know, something to get us through the afternoon until punch out time.
After work we would frequently patrol the streets of Harlem until the wee hours of the morning get home to a few hours of sleep ready to get up again at 6am for work.
Hey, I was a teenager…I could handle it!
G and I were as close as brothers. We had each other’s backs. It turns out that G was a semi-reformed Original Gangsta. Forget 50 Cent… G, or G-Love, or Big Daddy Love, as he was known on the streets of Harlem was hardcore in his younger days. At three in the morning, on Sugar Hill, if we ran into any trouble or wanted some guys to hang with, all we had to do was yell “Leeeeet’s Gooooooo!” and soon enough, Culture or Ed or someone would come join us out of the woodwork.
I was the only white boy hanging out on the street corners of Harlem at night, at least the only one I ever saw. So I stuck out. Like a sore thumb. But I was eventually accepted as one of the boys because people saw that I was a little different than the other white people they knew and because Big Daddy Love said so. I had a lot to learn and I appreciated the chance to see how things were in this other world, this entirely different way of life that I was participating in.
Whenever we rolled into a bar or bodega in Harlem, a big black guy and a big white dude, we found that it was assumed that we were plain-clothed detectives. “Po-po” or “here comes 5-O” were the comments we frequently heard from within the crowd. We didn’t mind at all, of course, as it frequently kept us from being messed with.
My lack of street experience showed at times, of course…but this was how a white boy from the Upper West Side got his own Harlem-born nickname: Big Country Jo from the Ghetto.
As time passed, I lost my “country-ness” and the Country was dropped and most called me Big Jo, or Jo for short. Jo was a bastardized form of my initials, JOS.
Someday I hope to write about my experiences at the time and the things I learned about the trials and tribulations of the black men (and women) living and surviving in the urban ghetto.
“Thats” all for now, be back later this afternoon.
Posted by JOS on from Calle Colón 11/12 at 09:57 AMLove the tale, Big Jo. Excellent stuff. Makes me more anxious to eventually read your novel.
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 11/12 at 11:06 AMI “walked” many a mile in Manhattan in the 80s, but farther downtown and with a radically different purpose. There is ABSOLUTELY no reason I should not be HIV + or dead by now, the sex drugs and rock’n’roll (one day I’ll tell the CBGB story) I’ve put the physical plant through...but I never hung with the homeys in Harlem, even when I lived at 102nd and CPW. Did y’all ever, well, do anything you really shouldn’t have? Smoking is nothing big. What did y’all talk about as the ahnging out was going on, Big Country Jo? (Being from rural America, I find the idea of a guy from the UWS getting called “Country” sidesplitting!)
MZ, that must’ve been a mesmerizing experience for your kid-self. DId you have the urge to play with them? Why did your mom call y’all into the kitchen, did she ever say?
This is the kind of storytelling I like, the kind that leaves questions open!!
Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 11/12 at 12:32 PMI was about to add an episode that involved impersonating a police officer...but I am pretty sure that is a major felony. So no, I never, ever did anything I shouldn’t have.
There are a couple of stories that I could probably share via email when or if they are written down.
By the way, at one corner in Sugar Hill, one of the ugliest, oldest, tranvestite drunks I have ever met always felt the need to give me a kiss on the cheek when I came around. When she was drunk enough I would end up fighting off her wandering hand. But who was I to judge?
Posted by JOS on from Calle Colón 11/12 at 12:42 PMTo judge being groped by a drunk? The offended party, that’s who. You chose instead, it would seem, to see the compliment implicit in rushin’ hands and roamin’ fingers. Generous of your teenaged self.
As to sharing your stories, I say use ‘em. There’s an entire novel in a kid from UWS hangin’ with the homeys. Bret Easton Ellis bases bestsellers on less than I just wrote as a thesis statement. After The Betrayal is done, you have your next novel!
MZ, I completely forgot to ask if you used some time for yourself and worked on Critical Mass last night. Life will never stop making demands, as you’re well aware, so carving out some time to be creative will always be a challenge (that was the entire point of The Murdering of my Years, wasn’t it?) and there is an actual point in doing NaNo even for someone who’s got books under his belt...letting loose and finding time. The Sphincter People, in Beau’s memorable and now stolen phrase from yesterday, don’t want folks to access real creativity...it can, and usually does, lead to self-directed thoguht. Once one has creeated a world in novel form, the idea that others are manipulating reality (anyone wants to discuss the nature of the consensual lie that we call reality, please email me) and making it suit their own purposes becomes suddenly more valid. The follow-on...that one can counter their manipulations with one’s own...comes not long after that, in my observation.
Anyway, mon vieux, simply exhorting the exhausted to exhale, extend the extendable extremities for some exercise, and then exert yet more existing expertise into the exciting experience of extreme creativity that is NaNo.
{{{hugs}}}
Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 11/12 at 01:14 PMWord, Mudge.
By the way, I just saw MZ’s wordcount and realized I have to get to 25,000 within the next three days.
I can’t wait to read the rest of your True Adventures by the way.
Posted by JOS on from Calle Colón 11/12 at 01:46 PMHello all.
Excellent example of Expendable expression, Mudge. I did indeed do a little writing last night. I’m hoping to squeeze in a tiny bit more today when Michele heads over to JFK to pick up a friend of hers who is staying with us for the big soiree. Then again, I might wind up taking the ride. Hectic weekend but it’s great that the weather is cooperating...big time.
What’s up, Big Jo?
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 11/12 at 02:37 PMBig Country, I got no synapse left unfried by that fever, I’m only at 17,100 words of the required 20,001 to be even with the pace as of today. If I look farther along than that, I’ll just give up and say “fewkit” because it seems like the greyhounds have already lapped the rabbit on my dogtrack.
Ar ar.
I’m “near” despair at this point, wondering how to get all the anti-Repulsivecan stuff I want to throw in, in, without making it seem like this is intended to be a screed against capitalism, materialism, and the political world (which it is, just don’t wanna be obvious about it).
Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 11/12 at 02:40 PMHey MZ, I was just making a TinyURL run for a friend of mine, and I realized I keep meaning to ask you why you don’t “provide” a link to TinyURL in your links section? Betcha it’d cause a lot more tiny links to be posted here....
Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 11/12 at 03:23 PMhello all
sorry for getting too real yesterday - drunk and emotional is not always the best combination.
BTW - just been to see Scotland V USA football (soccer) match. it was 1-1.
a few fans took the opportunity to discuss US forein policy in somewhat withering terms...well...actually they were singing a song about george bush being a paedophile but whatever!
Posted by michael on from scotland 11/12 at 04:02 PMSnuck in a wee bit of novel work but, as I surmised, I’m off with the wife to JFK to meet our friend. And, yes, Mudge...I love the Nano graphics. Make me wanna upload every word I’ve written just to see what it looks like.
I’ll check in later when I’m back from “outside.”
Hey Michael…
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 11/12 at 04:28 PMYesterday, I said, “Happy Saturday”, forgetting that it was still Flyday in the US! The only thing that gives me more trouble than international datelines is Summer Daylight saving time especially round clock re-setting time. You’ve no idea how mwny headaches I’ve ‘cause of this. Maybe that could be the idea for a comedy/thriller novel turning around confusion over time!
Anyway, I don’t think it’s right that polititions can mess with the Sun. No good will come of it I’m sure.
Cheers from Tasmania on Sunday, JimCatcha word - summer. Weird
Posted by Jim on from 11/12 at 04:30 PMHello Mick, hello Jim, Hello Michael and I just read your email Mudge, so go boil your head! Or just check you email box for my thankful response.
“evening,” as in I’ll be around all of it except for a few hours to step into an NA reunion en espanol...which is more entertaining and has more drama and excitment than any primetime hit TV show.
Posted by JOS on from Calle Colón 11/12 at 04:58 PMGot it, Big Country. Go with Higherpower. (Doesn’t have that ring said that way, does it?)
Jim, that’s a winner of an idea! Go NaNo it right away, get workin’ get workin’ The words will just floooooow once you find the story that needs this idea to tell it! Scoot! Scoot!
Michael, the USA has a soccer team? Let alone a NATIONAL soccer team...Or is this more yank-the-Yanks stuff?
You’re among friends here, Michael, so even if you need to apologize you certainly don’t have to unless someone says “ow.” What was it you said that was so awful anyway? You strike me as someone who has more sense drunk thann most do sober as judges. Relax, enjoy the ride.
MZ, have fun and enjoy the ride, speaking of rides. Glad you’ve stonen some more time for yourself and “opened” the jar of caterpillars that is your mind to let the butterflies grow.
Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 11/12 at 05:31 PMI second Mudge, Michael:
You strike me as someone who has more sense drunk than most do sober as judges.
Posted by JOS on from Calle Colón 11/12 at 05:37 PMHi all,
tonight was going to see our sax player in his bossanova band but rain stopped play so I´m going to write myself out of the 11,000 words trench (Mudge, I typed 5,000 last weekend, shall bash em out incrementally cause if I did it in one lot my eyeballs would dry out completely).
What I did was paint and play music mostly when younger, I didn´t write that much except keep a diary, though that´s good practice as you´re writing unconcerned about making it literary. I moved to Dublin to take a philosophy degree but in our first class a lecturer was taking questions from us and one woman was afraid she´d have to be the new Socrates and start, you know, philosophising straight away. So she said as much and the lecturer put his hand out to reassure her and said It´s okay, we´re not looking for original philosophy per se. Myself and a friend were aghast in the back for a moment and then wondered if they had a pool table. It was nice of them to tell us so early because we got to spend the next three years at origami, photos, chess, bowling, beer and we put on a couple of plays, which were basically vehicles to give the college treasurer a part and keep us in beer. When the first summer came around I moved into a house in the south of the city and felt glad to have a few months of not being around quite so many people. I found a job in a launderette that wouldn´t require much of me and would let me read and chat with customers, some of whom brought me books. My room was bright with warm unvarnished floorboards and a double bed I lay on and read the rest of the time. I began a novel there also, was reading a lot of Bret Easton Ellis and Dostoevsky at the time so it was essentially an attempt to mash the two together (I met Ellis in Dublin the following year, he was pleasant). The housekeeping slid dramatically in August, we came home one evening to find the neighbours had cut our hedge they´d been so sick of looking at it and we used to joke there were boat people in the grass. By this time Katie had a tremendous case of gastroenteritus and was away ill for a few days. One of these afternoons I was drinking on my livingroom floor with Ken and I tipped my glass over the carpet. We knew that wine was removable by salt so found a grand tub in the kitchen and upended it over the stain, then discovered the salt mound looked a lot like England so we marked out the coastline with popcorn seeds and smooshed a cigarettebutt in for London. A week later, Katie´s parents and grandmother came to drive her home on account of she wasn´t feeling better, in the house they found the screen door hanging off its hinges and a Hansel and Gretel-style garbage trail Ken and I had left leading from the front door to the mound, which had solidified and turned yellow. Ken and I were in the kitchen and heard Katie´s family sitting around the salt sculpture murmurring, So Katie´s got food poisoning eh? My brother still talks about that house and he only saw it once or twice, called it the Munsters house - made especially so given the well-to-do area it was in. Through some electronic quirk our rent money was never taken out of our bank account so it was the finest squat I´ve ever lived in.Posted by Owen on from Barcelona 11/12 at 07:24 PMSmall world, Owen. Brett Ellis went to Bennington College (near where I live) at the same time that my daughter went there. Back then it was an unusual school.
Posted by RMJ on from Churchill 4 Prez Hdqts 11/12 at 07:52 PMGood evening, everyone. Mudge, I neglected to answer you earlier. My mom called us into the kitchen because she knew two teen boys would most certainly be interested in seeing real live machine guns. Sad but true.
P.S. I liked American Psycho (the book and the film) and also Rules of Attraction (liked the multiple, contradictory narratives). That doesn’t make me a “member” of Ellis Fan Club or nothing but I do think he often too harshly criticized.
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 11/12 at 09:13 PMHy Ia, Folks -
It’s like a writer’s workshop in here… could be smokier, tho… Writing without tobacco smoke is bad for you. Somebody, light up.
It’s been wonderful to sit out, for a bit, and just lurk.Jim - do you live near those huge, vicious attack ants which hate everything and everyone and can kill people with just a few bites? Jack Jumper Ants...?
When does all the writing have to be completed?
Posted by joe on from on from on from on from on from on from on from on 11/12 at 09:54 PM“Evening,” Lurker Joe. It’s 50,000 words by Nov. 30. And if you want ants, I’ll give you some tomorrow.
Now playing on Turner Movie Classics: http://tinyurl.com/7mkw8
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 11/12 at 10:06 PMJoe!
I am starting to freak out a little about that 50,000 by Nov. 30th, Mick.
A movie about Expendables? That’s something to think about.
Posted by JOS on from Calle Colón 11/12 at 10:22 PMEvening, Pilgrim -
A list of useful words:
is, am, are, was, were, have, has, had, do, does, did, should, shall, will, be, being, been…
I don’t know what they’re called, but I had to memorize them in 7th grade. I’ve held them dear, to this day.
Use `em if ya like, folks. They’re not mine. I only hope they’ll help out in some small way.I’ll look forward to the ants, Mickey. And about the Expendable movie. I’ve passed it up a few times in the past month or so. It might be worth a look. Have you seen it? And, is it true that John Wayne is one of us?
Posted by joe on from Oregon 11/12 at 10:33 PMHI JOS!
Good ta see ya.
Are youz guyz gonna make your novels available to the general public?
Will they be published somewhere?
Will you achieve fame and fortune and appear on the Charlie Rose Show?
It’s fun peeking in on all this…Posted by joe on from Oregon 11/12 at 10:38 PMHey Jos…
I’m holding out for a six-figure advance, Joe...and John Wayne, as far as I know, has never posted a comment here.
G’night, all.
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 11/12 at 10:55 PMThanks for posting Mr Helga’s photo on your blog, Mickey! You are a man of impeccable taste ..
And thanks for sharing another childhood yarn with us. Re Katherine Hepburn: I still remember our second visit to New York in September 1996 when a guide pointed out the building where she lived then. What a feisty lady!
And hi to all of you MZ’ers - have a good Sunday!Posted by Helga Fremlin on from Daylesford, Australia 11/13 at 12:01 AMHey Mudge,
Dunno about me writing it. I usually opt for asking other people to do things! Right, Mickey?!Joe, there’s Jack Jumpers around here but they’re not huge. Rather small 1/4 to 1/2 inch and they can make you pretty sick. Some people are allergic to them and they can be in real trouble.
There are others called Inchmen which are over an inch long (hence the name). They are real bastards. their bites feel just like a bad cigarette burn. Since one bit me for no damn reason at all, I have become the Marked Avenger. I have a reputation in Antland that is truly awesome. I just hope the Buddhists are wrong about a couple of things. If they are right then my next life will like that of an hanging judge sent to prison. It’s not gunna be pretty.
The capcha word says “didnt”. But I did! Is someone fooling with these words?
Posted by Jim on from 11/13 at 12:22 AMHi Jim...I think Hell’s Kitchen James said it best, “what’s up with this captcha oracle thing anyway?” or something very close.
Write it yourself, reap the rewards...I say no more.
Big Country, quit worrying and write. Word count’s gonna come naturally once the words come naturally.
Joe, my man! Been out scoutin’ Utah for Utah? I’ll give a whirl to having mine published. Updates as events warrant.
Owen, dude! We’re the same housekeeper! “Don’t like the way I keep house? There’s the vacuum, if it works.” I got better stuff to do, like well ummm yeah.
Hi RMJ!
Yooo hoo, Helga! Pretty Daylesford. Lucky Helgas to live there.
Okay, I’m off like a prom dress.
Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 11/13 at 02:15 AMhello all and cheers
mudge…
“Michael, the USA has a soccer team? Let alone a NATIONAL soccer team...Or is this more yank-the-Yanks stuff?”
they do have a team and they are not bad. not great, but not bad. a bit like scotland (hence it was 1-1.)
i am aware of the ‘soccer mom’ syndrome in the US. it is a very middle class affair. let me assure you that this is not the case int he rest of the world.
For example, in buenos aires the two big teams r river plate and boca juniors. river plate are seen as aristocratic and wealthy, boca juniors are your shanty town guys. every time these two teams play an average of four people are KILLED. this is not the players, nor is it in the stadium. it is in the city and surrounding districts before and after the match.
in the city i am in we have celtic and rangers. it has calmed down recently (after a 16 year old had his throat slashed from ear to ear about 7 year ago) but there used to be an average of one person per game killed. here it is a catholic-protestant. there was lots of irish catholic immigration to this city so they set themselves up a football (soccer) team. in response to this some of the protestant community appropriated an already existing club (rangers) and a lot community tension was channeled in to the two clubs.
it happens everywhere for different reasons. in africa it can be a tribal/ethnic thing. In holland it is amsterdam and rotterdam (the clubs are Ajax and feyenoord respectively)- the two cities have a long standing animosity. in colombia its a drug cartel thing (they all own different teams).
all of this is a far cry from rich parents picking up spoilt children after the match. go to a football match in europe south america or africa and you will get something yuo didn’t bargain for. youwill not see wealthy parents picking up spoilt children outisde of games.
also the clubs are not ‘ franchises’ like in the US. they are a product of their local communities. the league does not have the right to disband, create or relocate teams.
i am not saying any of this is good, just that it is. for the reocrd i think professional sport is a way of focussing energies that people might otherwise use in the political sphere into essentially pointless ventures (watching a few overpaid cocaine fuelled brats run around for their own amusement)
football (soccer) is the number one working class sport in the world. the USA is the exception and not the rule in this matter.
Posted by michael on from scotland 11/13 at 07:41 AMExactly, they´re all basically modern versions of the Roman circus to distract the public from they´re getting screwed every day living under the same systems of interest and usury the Romans had.
Posted by Owen on from Barcelona 11/13 at 08:12 AMyeah. i still watch some of it tho but its a habit i am trying to cure myself of.
Posted by michael on from scotland 11/13 at 09:12 AM
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