Mickey Z
Cool Observer
Friday, January 25, 2008
"Good Grief"
Sean O’Casey wrote: For memory’s the only friend that grief can call its own.
Posted by m. smith on from PA 01/25 at 09:14 AMGood morning m.smith, Mickey and all…
About grief - I’m not sure that there is such a thing as “good” grief. Grief is always painful. It comes and invades every cell of your body. There is no defense against it. I always wonder when there is a school shooting and “they” send in grief counselors. What would a grief counselor do or say to lessen the pain? Sometimes grief is the only response that makes sence after a great loss.
During periods of grief in my own life, I have tried many different strategies. Most did not help at all. I remember a time many years ago when I was trying to cope with grief. One thing that I did was, just by chance, I found a book that helped a tiny bit. The book did not deal with the subject of grief but it transported me into another world. Because of my love of the ocean, I was able to get momentary vicarious relief from my sadness. When I realized that the book helped to distract me, I started to ration the number of pages that I would allow myself to read every night. I reread pages slowly and savored every word. I wanted the book to last forever. Of course it didn’t. When I finished reading it, my grief was as strong as ever but I am grateful for the few moments of distraction that the book afforded me. This was in 1969. The book was Sloan Wilson’s - Away From it All.Posted by RMJ on from Mickey Z 4 Prez Hdqts 01/25 at 10:57 AMRMJ...good morning everyone...I once spoke to an elderly nurse who specialized in death and dying...I was greaving someone I lost...the advice to me, and I needed much advice at the time, was to go through it, do not avoid or deny the pain...Look at it, Feel it...I still have memories that occasionally cloud certain feelings of the present...I don’t deny or avoid this either...am I too sensitive??? I don’t know.
Posted by joe of maine on from 01/25 at 12:25 PMGrief is like an end of the world that continues on and on. Trying to assuage someone else’s grief is like telling them how un/comfortable their shoes are.
Something missing from the quotes is the role of laughter in helping to release grief. A comedian whose name escapes me (was it Billy Connolly?) had a great routine about mixing up the five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I think he started with bargaining, went through denial a few different times, made up one of his own, etc. Very liberating, as humor should be.
Finally, grief is a barometer for how important other living things are to us. People who can’t feel grief are sociopathic, and become president. (Captcha sez ‘respect’, dammit!)
Anyone heard from Richie lately? Hope he’s OK.
Posted by Zen Prole on from Urth 01/25 at 03:05 PMI’m so glad I visit your great site again, Mickey - the best quotes, graphics, and then there are the articles.
Hello, m. smith, Rosemarie, Joe of Maine and Zen Prole - just wanted to ‘call in’ briefly. Now it’s off to have some breakfast, but I might be back later.
In the meantime: take care and have a great weekend, all of you!
Helga from down under
Posted by Helga Fremlin on from Daylesford, Australia 01/25 at 04:14 PMHello Expendables. I was confident today’s topic would inspire some powerful comments. Thank you.
Also, Robert sent me a Peanuts image that I’ve just added to the main post.
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 01/25 at 04:15 PMHi Helga, Mickey, joe, Zen, and all…
I know that everyone here already knows this, but just in case someone wonders by - just for the record. The voters DID have a chance to vote for someone who is anti-war, pledged to end NAFTA, and he also supports a Single Payer System. He was the only major party candidate to hold those positions. Too bad- too late - and too uninformed, that’s the U$A voter. The problem is not Bush. It’s not even the Congress. The problem is the stupidity of the voters.
Posted by RMJ on from Mickey Z 4 Prez Hdqts 01/26 at 04:32 PMIndeed, RMJ, we’re all accomplices to countless global crimes.
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 01/26 at 04:43 PMFYI: I just put up a new post. I’m trying to make a “comeback” of sorts here.
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 01/26 at 09:33 PMWhere is everyone these days?
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 01/26 at 09:35 PM
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