Mickey Z

Cool Observer

Friday, December 23, 2005

Happy Birthday, Jesus

Posted by Mickey Z on 12/23 at 07:25 AM

Good Lord, I’m first. What’s happening here?!

Dear Jeez:

May I call you Jeez? I do anyway, so I guess you’re used to it by now.

Well, it’s birthday time again (BTW, isn’t your real birthday in April? All those shepherds out watching flocks, and boy you sure ACT like an Aries), and I know how little you enjoy all those broken vows and promises of reformed behavior, so I won’t bore you with all the “try to love a Repulsivecan” and “forgive the murderous greed bred and led by our illustrious government” stuff, since you know I ain’t gonna do none o’ that.

So anyway, I understand you’re passin’ out gifts to us this year! Thanks, dude, and I think you’re aces for being so unselfish. I pretty much have all the gifts a reasonable man could ask for, and I could always give you a laundry list of things I’d love to have swept up and dealt with, but my one wish, if you choose to grant it, is to open the eharts of the whole human race.

That’s it, really. Just that. Everything else will, I expect, happen as natural as water rolls down a hill after you and Big Sky Daddy do that.

An open heart could ever plant a land mine. Could never sit by while the hungry starved, or the ill died for want of a simple remedy, or the homeless froze to death because there is no heat on a street in January. An open heart would suffer too much in true fellow feeling, empathy, for that to be allowed.

If you open the hearts of my fellow humans, Jeez, nothing will be perfect, so you’d still have job security. We’ve made such a mess of things that it will be quite a long time before even concerted, sustained effort will make a dent in the wrongs we’ve perpetrated and perpetuated.

In fact, I predict an open-hearted world will mean a lot MORE work for you and Big Sky Daddy, because with openness comes transparency...being able to see what’s in your own heart; so very, very many of us...all of us, really...will be frightened by the anger and the hatred and the sorrow and the pain we see in our own hearts that y’all’re gonna hear lamentation and wailing and gnashing (what is gnashing, may I ask? Your pop seemed to go in big for that when he was getting set up here) of teeth like never before.

Am I wrong, or isn’t that what y’all want? So many damnfool rules...were you serious with all that stuff? It looks like what shrinks down here call a “double bind” to me...well, anyway, an open heart’ll figure all that out, right?

Are you still listening? Hmmm, I’m not getting a response. Well, to wrap up, then, please open the hearts of my fellow humans, and do it soon, so we can all get busy and fix this crappy dirty lousy way we’ve been running things, okay?

With love and admiration,

Your Friend Mudge

Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 12/23 at 09:56 AM

Good morning MickeyZ - great post - this business of undercover infiltration and agitation of peaceful protests by the police is very maddening - as you rightly say it’s downright evil.

As for Jesus…
Happy birthday Jesus. Now that you’ve had more than your fair share of attention over the millenia would you mind terribly clearing up all the misinterpretations and misinformation aboutyour message to the world?
You know - all the peace & love business? It seems to have fallen by the wayside in the last few hundred years.... If you could clear that up I’d really appreciate it.
And while you’re at it, feel free to bitch slap a few people here and there (be selective now - no violence for it’s own sake)

Oh - and thanks for the nice priest from my childhood who used to let me take communion during school services even though he knew full well that I’d never been baptised - he was just being nice rather than excluding and exemplifying the only non-christian at the catholic school.

----
Now if I start seeing news coverage of mysterious and unseen hands dispensing bitch slaps around the globe, I’ll be back to write a longer list of requests. ;)

Posted by Amelopsis on from canada 12/23 at 09:56 AM

A wish to Jesus...the usual peace,good health and prosperity to all! ( well,almost).

Fun idea about you as a preacher today otherwise but seriously I think that all false prophets have given religion such a bad name that the territory as such is useless to enter but if you wanna give it a try don´t let me…

As for God or ufo,I belive in neither but as someone (?) said “if there were intelligent life on other planets,why should they get in touch with us?”
so maybe they´re both/all out there somewhere?

You´ve asked earlier about a book or film to read or see and later discuss,I settle for a documentary film as my choice then.

Another idea,if someone wanna discuss lyrics that´s in some way could generate an interesting discusion here´s some examples…
Crass - bloody revolution:
http://simurl.com/bb-ww-kk
Crass - white punks on hope:
http://simurl.com/civbid
Crass - the greatest working class rip off
http://simurl.com/bb-ww-oo
Hüsker dü - real world:
http://simurl.com/bb-ww-tt
Blitz- 45 revolutions:
http://simurl.com/bb-vv-tt
The who - won´t get fooled again:
http://simurl.com/bb-ww-ll
The beatles - revolution:
http://simurl.com/mahfej
and
Tear it apart - not a game
Sheer terror - college boy
Sick on the bus - freak… is three other ones (but not for the easily offended maybe?)

The reason I´ve acknowledge these songs now is that I´ve “worked” with getting my mp3 library in order and with right images in i-Tunes on my sparetime lately.

Happy holidays!

Posted by The poster formerly known as "Old Glen". on from 12/23 at 10:09 AM

Hello Amelopsis! Glad to see you this beautiful, warm morning!

Y’know, y’all straight people need to get a handle on this “bitch-slap” thing...it’s NOT a smack in the face with an open hand, it’s a smack in a kneeling man’s face with another man’s erection. That, my friends, is a bitch-slap. I give you one and only one guess where it came from: American prison slang! (James, you don’t even want to know what bitch-tits are.)

I posted this late last night:
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/
The demonstration is designed to show the test-taker how prejudice exists in even the most regretful and remorseful among us. I was blown away!

Zoot, from last night: Welcome to the posting world! Contact was a good movie, but I didn’t like the book much.

Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 12/23 at 10:15 AM

Hi Mudge, Old Glen…

Thanks for the link, Mickey, I only hope I can keep finding a mix of pleasant or good news to post along with the usual melee of crappy bad news.

Virgin birth/God: not so much. UFOs: yes.
Jesus was a big hippy (for lack of a better term?) maybe a Yippy? Anyway good message gone wrong through 3rd party manipulation I say.

“Peace”, to One and All.

Posted by Amelopsis on from canada 12/23 at 10:18 AM

Mudge,
Believe it or not it’s warm here today too, melting all the snow that was getting me into the christmas mood (gluttony and laziness ensues). Pretty awful looking outside actually.

I think the ‘real’ bitch-slap definition would serve just as well for the purposes I intended, although I wasn’t quite thinking of Jesus having to lift his robe (or being “service"d) to make the point.

Posted by Amelopsis on from canada 12/23 at 10:24 AM

Mew, from last night: I’m sorry, that Hamsun quote was snatched out of context...I giggled because one of the most likely reasons Hamsun, a major international literary figure at that time, fell in with the Nazis is less that his younger, scheming wife beguiled him into collaborating than that he hated the English with a vibrating day-glo orange passion all his life and rooted for whoever on the world stage he saw that would try to take them down.

I find his loathing of the English, which had the force and effect of Nazi loathing of the Jews, completely ridiculous. He never visited England, so had no basis for his loathing that I can see. I guess it’s because nothing came of it...had there been a Final Solution to the English Problem, I’d be less amused. I hope.

Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 12/23 at 10:30 AM

Amelopsis #6: The real bitch-slap definition actually works better than the lite version in your example. Ugh, early melt is ucky as hell because you just KNOW the re-freeze is coming and now it has an underlayment of ice. Blagh.

On its way up to 71F this afternoon...RMJ? A visit?

Old Glen #3: I completely agree with your friend. If there was intelligent life in the Univese (given the vastness of the place, probability is as close to 1 as you can get), what the Hell would it want with us?! If other species have discovered how to travel between stars quickly and affordably, what does podunk little Earth have to offer...religion? Horrible thought. Literature, music, art? Nice thought. Doubtful.

Posted by Mudge on from Dear, dead Austin 12/23 at 10:43 AM

Hello Expendables. “Quite” warm for Dec. 23 here. Jesus must be happy.

So, yesterday I learned what nations make up Scandanavia and today, I learn the true meaning of “bitch-slap.” I feel like a new man.

Mudge, I promise to get to those tests you link to. I’m trying, for now, to cut down on my computer time. My eyes are shot.

Old Glen, your request for a documentary is making me realize that we’ll never agree on one choice. So, perhap next week, we can pick one fiction book, one non-fiction book, one feature film, and one documentary...and take it from there.

Amelopsis: I’m starting to see a side of you I hadn’t previously discerned...and I like it a lot.

Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 12/23 at 11:33 AM

Dear Heyzooos, have a happy imaginary Birthday! (After all, what other kind of Birthday can an imaginary friend have?)

I went through the Catholic School thing, have actually an honestly been a legally ordained minister for a number of years, and can announce with great confidence that religion - in all of its variations - was created by Satan. What has been a more devisive crock than religion? What institution has caused more war, killing, torture and violence than religion? What people seem farther away from unconditional love, compassion, and more divorced from their souls than the religious? In all my many years, I’ve only met one professed Christian that I would be happy to emulate. Yet I’ve been around many so-called Atheists, Agnostics and Pagans that have lifted my Spirit higher than I would have thought possible, and who do more for their fellow sentient beings - and the planet in general - than any “religious” person I have ever met.

The pervasive concept of Gawd is as basically an imaginary friend for adults and nothing more. So how do we celebrate the Birthday of a being that may actually have been a living person some 2000 years ago(just one of many street preachers of the time who gets a brief mention in the writings of ancient historian Jocephus), but whose persona has been mutated into an amalgam of even older mythical beings by taking a snippet of this one, a taste of that one, and not an original thought in the whole story? Hell, I don’t know. Christmas to me is just a more common name in our vernacular for the Winter Solstice celebration. Make it whatever you want it to be, just don’t shove your version down anyone else’s throat. Please?

Someone once said that Gawd created Mankind in His/Her image, and then Mankind returned the favor.

Wow Heyzooos, I suppose no one wants to open up their B-day greeting and read a rant like that, so I thank you for your indulgence, beg your forgiveness, and say “Have a Happy Day, Every Day.” I mean, why just the one day a year?

Love,
Rev Joey

Posted by Rev Joe on from 12/23 at 11:44 AM

Oh, and of course UFOs exist. That’s answer to the important theological question, “What Would Jesus Drive?”

Posted by Rev Joe on from 12/23 at 11:55 AM

Hello Expendables…

Right now I can’t focus on Jesus too much, more so this five year old feline who seems to be suffering for my sins-- but whom I’m leaving right now to retrieve from the vet again! But just wanted to check in here first. Agh, Mudge you’re right, I never knew what term that meant, it just filtered through my subconcious while I was having a bad day. Never gonna live that down. Now can’t get it out of my head while I go visit my drastically obese mom this weekend…

But I’ll mention that I was born in April, and I’m the son of a carpenter, so hmm. yeah that surveillance article gets me upset like you can imagine-- I mentioned to Mickey how they also somehow have it in the NYC budget to afford a helicopter to fly over the critical mass rides each month. Not sure if am flattered or insulted… “law"-- hahaha

Posted by James on from Hell's Kitchen 12/23 at 01:14 PM

Mickey, couldn’t resist passing along the news: http://tinyurl.com/akknk.

I’ve greatly enjoyed the b’day greetings to Jesus. Looking forward to reading more. Rev. Joey: “religion - in all of its variations - was created by Satan. What has been a more devisive crock than religion? What institution has caused more war, killing, torture and violence than religion? What people seem farther away from unconditional love, compassion, and more divorced from their souls than the religious? In all my many years, I’ve only met one professed Christian that I would be happy to emulate. Yet I’ve been around many so-called Atheists, Agnostics and Pagans that have lifted my Spirit higher than I would have thought possible, and who do more for their fellow sentient beings - and the planet in general - than any ‘religious’ person I have ever met.” BRAVO, Rev! Well stated.

My letter, unwritten tho it remains, would have to include a request to drop-kick the Old Testament to another Universe. Make it so it never was. It’s probably too much to ask that the whole Bible be thrown out, and maybe it shouldn’t be. Jesus - real or imagined - is a fine character to emulate, and if all we had to go by were his words and example, maybe we’d have a chance. But let’s start from there, and get rid of the OT and Karmic Law. The whole world seems, ah, hellbent, on keeping it alive. But, can anyone imagine how different our lives would be if the Old Testament never existed? My Gawd, the implications. Then again...All Jesus, All the Time? How boring would that be?! Hmm.

Posted by suzanne on from 12/23 at 01:19 PM

Thanks for the welcome, Mickey. Nod to Mudge, LunaC, et al.

Question 1: I don’t subscribe to any religion, though I think of myself as a spiritual person and to top it off, I’m an atheist. I don’t think that belief in God or a human sacrifice (which is technically what Jesus was) or agreeing with a priest/preacher/pope/etc. is *necessary* for one to find contentment and connectedness in life; but it is fair to say that these things are very helpful for others to do so. As for Mary, I figure Mary, Jesus and the lot were probably real, but that Mary just got pregnant out of wedlock and was too ashamed to tell anyone; Jesus had some good ideas and people liked him, maybe they pushed him into the spotlight. And let’s not forget, in Jesus’s time (and even today), there were a lot of religious zealots going around calling themselves prophets and messiahs. Back then, the popular ones usually had had a “virgin birth” as well. It was kind of a fad for up and coming messiahs at the time. No immaculate conception? Oh man, you need to get you one of those… how’re people going to take you seriously?

Qu. 2: UFOs are unidentified flying objects, but I’ll take it in the context presented-- Yes, I think alien life exists, probably intelligent life somewhere out there, and I am sure we’ll eventually find non-terran life, but it will probably be in the form of bacteria, algae, or the like. As for fly-by’s of spacecraft and that stuff? Sigh. Well, who knows. The gov’t is definitely hiding something from the Roswell crash of 1949(?). But I think if an intelligence wanted to communicate with us (touching on Contact again), whether spiritual or alien, I don’t think they would reserve the message (or the fly-bys) for this bass-ackwards country alone.

Posted by Zoot on from Billyburg 12/23 at 02:30 PM

Oh, and Feliz Cumpleaños, Jesus.

Posted by Zoot on from Billyburg 12/23 at 02:32 PM

Hi again!
#11..."Oh, and of course UFOs exist. That’s answer to the important theological question, “What Would Jesus Drive?”
Yeah,maybe he rides one of these featured in this film:
http://simurl.com/kumwur

Does those Russkies hide something:
http://simurl.com/verwuf
They´ve always been up to something:
http://simurl.com/pojlej

“Living in fear is just another way to die before your time”
- “Shut up and get on the plane”,Drive by truckers.

Posted by The poster formerly known as "Old Glen". on from 12/23 at 03:46 PM

Hi folks

The airport today had nightmarishly high proportions of little freaks going back and forth consuming unnecessarily. I do what I always do; look at the shops and wonder who on earth needs more products just because they’re going on holiday. I mean, a book or a CD I could understand, presentation gift sets of aftershave, cigars or scotch I can see at a stretch, but the whole thing reeks of pathetic self distraction.

That is, of course, unless it’s natural to you to impulse buy sets of crustal glasses, ornate cutlery and maybe a new stereo when already clutching suitcases, hand luggage etc. Oh, and at the same time you can enter a prize draw for an Aston Martin at £100 a throw.

I always find this the case every time I set foot in an airport, which isn’t often. I generally avoid big shopping areas if possible - concentrations of shops tend to do for the soul what cricket balls do for windows - so it’s an even more concentrated shock. This being crimble & all, it was even more pronounced and the good people behind the boycott Christmas idea would have probably tottered away from the whole gruesome scene feeling like Mozart at a Madonna concert. (or would he have been clapping his hands and bopping til his powdered wig fell off? We’ll never know!)

Best of all today was the food areas. Firstly, there’s a lot of class division. Working class people get an expensive greasy spoon type cafe, charging about triple for a plate of sausage and chips, which tastes awful but at least the whole thing is familar. Middle class tossers like me get either the continental ‘bistro’ sort of place - souless to the extreme, selling pastries and coffee at £85 a cup, or Starbucks which is, horrifyingly, no different (they’ve taken to freeze drying shops, I swear. Some little fucker just pours Starbucks granules on the floor and adds boiling water - I swear it!).

Executive class buffoons get a semi-neoned bar, complete with posh drinks, lumpy looking bread snacks and dickhead men in bad suits or disjointed looking women sucking their cheeks in, trying to resemble people in adverts. Taking in the whole scene in one go left me feeling very out of my element.

I went to read in one of the zones where you can actually sit without buting any expensive shit - how thoughtful! I noticed all the things people were reading - one or two looked like good books, or reasonable magazines. Some were reading trashy holiday reads - fair nuff, nothing wrong with a bit of escapism - but I noticed something today I’d never realised before, and that is the default facial expressions of readers of the Tory tabloid press. It’s bizarre, give them a page or two and this grim charicature of disdain and outrage settles over anyone’s features. A determined, interfered with realisation that it’s all so bad. I started feeling very much like that bloke in ‘They Live’ when he realises what kind of world he’s in. I wanted to tap them on the shoulders and tell them they had a choice - what they were reading was dishonest, selective and manipulative - why not go it unplugged?

I didn’t, though. I rarely talk to stangers in airports. It’s all too easy to find yourself being told a massive amount of detail and about whatever flicks their switch, and it can take a gaping chunk out of your day.

However, I did see one prize expression that I so wish I could have photographed and shown you. A lady of perhaps 60 or 65 had just finished the Daily Mail, and she looked about her at absolutely everyone with an expression of such isolated defiance - a kind of conned, backs to the wall stance - that I felt both very amused and extremely sorry for her at the same time. Obviously she had been reading about the ills of her fellow people - how single mothers cause cancer, how rap music leads to increases in income tax etc - and the poor soul was drowning in this sleazy, hate mongering manipulation. Naturally I started to behave like a stereotype of a young man myself, wearing a baseball cap backwards, selling crack to kids and fathering sprogs left right & centre, but that’s not the point ...

An odd combination.

Posted by Chris Wood on from Jersey 12/23 at 03:49 PM

PS I’d love to wish Jesus a Merry Christmas, but ideally I need to be wearing a leather thong and hiding in a giant cake.

“Hap-pee buth-daee misterrr Jeeezz-zus ..”

Posted by Chris Wood on from Jersey 12/23 at 03:51 PM

Here’s a couple of points for the ol’ religion debate.

The virgin birth isn’t mentioned until about 500 AD. Naturally making sex in some form dirty is a massive boost to controlling people & keeping women down. It also poses the question, what the hell was Mary like if it took 500 years for the gossip to die down so that people could believe she was a virgin? We’ll never know ...

To expand one of MZ’s points about god & sacrifice, if god was all powerful then he didn’t need to sacrifice his son for the sake of humanity (not a very nice thing for a parent to do, methinks). He could’ve just taken out an advert or organised a very big leaflet campaign. The Times Square / laptop idea sounds pretty good.

Also, the image of a saviour being tortured to death for the sins of people who haven’t yet been born (but upon birth become complicit in this whole flawed humanity deal) is a terribly rough way of telling everybody who goes in a church that they are in debt, big time, just for being fucking born ... nice of them.

Best of all: god is everywhere, right? And god is traditionally shown as male. Therefore, god’s dick is everywhere. So ... anyone singing a hymn is actually opening up their mouth nice n wide for ... well, you get the idea.

Posted by Chris Wood on from Jersey 12/23 at 04:02 PM

What a great post, Mickey! And all you expendables provide such great comments and links that I’m not going to add anything to it except to say:
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF YOU, AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS!
Thanks for brightening up my days with your blog, Mickey, and thanks for all the comments and links posted by MZ’ers aka expendables.

Posted by Helga Fremlin on from Daylesford, Australia 12/23 at 04:18 PM

#17,Chris
airports are strange places which feels a bit lifeless because most people are so stressed but one “fun” thing is that you can see folks from all walks of life there though.
Why is everything except some taxfree-articles so goddamn expensive there..?
It´s more people than traveling yuppies/businessmen that need to eat or drink some coffe,you greedy leeches!

Posted by The poster formerly known as "Old Glen". on from 12/23 at 04:35 PM

Hello Expendables. This must be the best b’day ever for Jesus, huh? Thanks for doing your part.

Old Glen, you provided a link to a Jetsons trailer. Isn’t it funny that between them and the Flintstones, the cartoon world taught us that there were only white people in the past and will there will only be white people in the future?

Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 12/23 at 04:36 PM

Mickey,maybe you´re right haven´t thought about that.
I guess to this day it´s not so common either in cartoons from the westworld?

Posted by The poster formerly known as "Old Glen". on from 12/23 at 04:47 PM

Happy birthday to J.C. I am of the mindset that Jesus is simply the victim of two thousand years of false propaganda.

Hello, Expendables!

Please forgive my absence. Here’s a Big Country link for old times sake:

http://tinyurl.com/7n2fe

It turns out that cows are better at picking their leaders than sheeple.

Posted by JOS on from PR 12/23 at 05:07 PM

Big Country is in the motherfuckin’ house. (Sorry, JOS, but I know you wanted to hear that.)

Excellent link, re: cows. The more we learn to respect the intelligence and emotional lives of animals, the easier it is to go vegan.

JOS: Johnny Damon, huh?

Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 12/23 at 05:15 PM

That is exactly what I wanted to hear, Mick.

Damon even got a shave and a haircut...it’ll be great to have a real leadoff hitter...first one I can remember since Rickey Henderson. I am glad they kept Bernie for another year, though I hope it isn’t too degrading to watch a former Red Sox playing center field. From what I hear, Damon’s arm isn;t much better than Bernie’s, but he can get after the ball out there pretty damn good.

Posted by JOS on from PR 12/23 at 05:20 PM

Good day All,

James, I hope Frank the cat is safe & well at home soon, with nary an insertion to be needed for many moons to come.

Chris your reflections on the airport lingerings makes me quite glad I’m not flying anywhere soon. I share your bothered nature about the wandering zombies to be found in such places at times. When I am in more familiar terrain than an airport I tend to enjoy the people-watching; it’s the baseless assumptions that I enjoy deducing from detail. As long as I don’t have to talk to many of them!

MZ & Old Glen re: 22/23 - As a small kid watching those cartoons I somehow realised the bigotry and also forgave (poor choice of words, but I’m at a loss) Hanna Babera because I figured they just didn’t know better. I suppose I thought that maybe they just didn’t have any friends who weren’t white, so it hadn’t occurred to them.
But then not many years before that I also thought that the characters in my favourite show would stop moving when I pushed the button to turn it off. (what?? it always started up right away if you did it quickly!!)

Posted by Amelopsis on from Ice-puddle a.k.a. Canada 12/23 at 05:28 PM

Missed a few points while typing…

Cows are beautiful creatures. Whenever I encounter them I’m always annoyed at being included in the healthy wariness they display toward human strangers.

Here’s some unfortunate news about Norway
http://tinyurl.com/bt579
(note to self - go to previous comments and check if that means Scandinavian or not)

Posted by Amelopsis on from Ice-puddle a.k.a. Canada 12/23 at 05:47 PM

I never knew cows selected leaders. My god, given our collective record in the last few years I suggest we get the old pencil and notepad out and start paying attention!

Old Glen, I agree completely about the price of airport coffee. Some of the drinks on offer were about £3/4 ($5? or thereabouts), no chance of a cheap boost to the system. Miserable profiteering moneygrubbers.

Amelopsis, yes, I love people watching too; trying to extrapolate details from whatever I’ve noticed. Clearly you have bad kharma when it comes to cows. I remember one time when I lived in Lancaster, I had an excellent conversation with a cow that was grazing near the hedge I was leaning on (it was in the small hours & I was very drunk). Maybe you just approach them at the wrong time of day & sobriety!

MZ, while I’m sure the leadership style of cows is very impressive (& I remember reading about your mayor Bloomberg, so it’s probably doubly so!), what I found most interesting recently was that one of the gorillas trained to talk had learned to tell porkies to get out trouble when it had been naughty. Now, there’s something very human there!

(btw, porkies - pork pies - lies)

Posted by Chris Wood on from Jersey 12/23 at 06:06 PM

As a wee distraction:

http://kittenwar.com/

See how long you can look without vomiting (Mudge, I believe this may not be for you!)

Posted by Chris Wood on from Jersey 12/23 at 06:18 PM

And not forgetting this:

http://tinyurl.com/b8yvm

The Cherie Blair sex calendar. Well worth a look, I promise you.

Posted by Chris Wood on from Jersey 12/23 at 06:20 PM

Chris: Are you certain about which of those two links was supposed to induce vomitting?

Posted by Amelopsis on from Ice-puddle a.k.a. Canada 12/23 at 06:31 PM

Amelopsis, that’s more than a fair point! I have no excuse (but it is fucking funny, though!)

Posted by Chris Wood on from Jersey 12/23 at 06:32 PM

Indeed, Amelopsis. I “love” kittens.

Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 12/23 at 06:35 PM

MY EYES!

One wee observation about cows: they’re all female right? Heifers I mean. Significant? I wonder if this behaviour is the rule with other female groups, EG elephants.

Chris, I get to read the Daily Hate Mail round my mates (his dad is the offender, I believe). It really is the epitome of bigotry and moral hypocrisy. I know we’re supposed to be all understanding and all, but I just can’t picture what the inside of Daily Mail readers head is like.

Posted by Mew on from England 12/23 at 06:38 PM

Interesting, Mew, I think Elephants also have the eldest female as their leader.

Posted by Amelopsis on from Ice-puddle a.k.a. Canada 12/23 at 06:42 PM

Happy birthday, Jesus ... although if I were you, I wouldn’t be too happy about the way folks celebrate my birthday. I mean, c’mon--spending way to much money on gifts that’ll rarely be appreciated? Why don’t they spend it on feeding a hungry man or clothing a homeless woman or buying meds for an AIDS victim?

And all that torturing and killing by those self-professed uber-Christians from the U.S. has got to stop if you’re to have a truly happy birthday, I would think.

Then there are all those poor people who still don’t have homes or jobs or incomes because Katrina washed it away and FEMA’s not using its God-given brains to help them out in any meaningful way.

Of course, it’s hard to forget the Christmas police, those folks who think it’s a crime to be inclusive and wish others “Happy Holidays.” They’ve completely forgotten that Christmas is about your birth and not the merchants who make money off of it.

I’m so sorry about all of that garbage, Jesus. Can we please have a do-over?

Posted by Katharine on from EditorMom 12/23 at 06:43 PM

Mew, that’s an intriguing point - what would the inside of a Daily Mail reader’s head look like?

Well, we could look at it like this. You are standing in a large white dome, which we will compare to the inside of the skull. A small insect, the size of a bee, flits about the place . This is a Mail reader’s intelligence. Next comes a herd of diseased goats. This is the political instinct. Then comes a selection of pool hustlers, loan sharks and CEOs that is the sense of fair play.

I could move on to sex drive, but does anyone really want to think about a monkey tied to a chair and being forced to watch passively while other monkeys get it on?

(BTW, I haven’t touch on most of the areas of bigotry for - rare - grounds of good taste. We all have our limits!)

Posted by Chris Wood on from Jersey 12/23 at 06:44 PM

Yes, from what I’ve read, elephant social life is very much a matriarchy.

Hey Editor Mom, I just e-mailed you when I learned you linked to my site. Vhevk out my link list, you’re on there.

In case I didn’t do this earlier: Hello Chris and Mew.

Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 12/23 at 06:46 PM

Hi there MZ!

Well, I never knew elephant society was / is a matriarchy.

Sorry to be putting up so many daft links today, but I’m in a giddy mood. HOWEVER, this one:

http://tinyurl.com/942we

has two gifs of Bush being smacked on the head with a hammer ... here, where did everybody go?

Posted by Chris Wood on from Jersey 12/23 at 06:50 PM

Hey, Mickey--you’re in Astoria! As in New York! Way cool. For some reason, I’d thought you were out West. Must be middle-age forgetfulness kicking in. Ack!

Posted by Katharine on from East Setauket, NY 12/23 at 06:56 PM

Out West, huh? I go to the West Side of Manhattan sometimes...does that count?

How did you find my site?

Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 12/23 at 06:58 PM

My Ever-Expanding Expendables, Michele and I are “going” West to Williamsburg to meet friends for Mexican food. Thanks for another geat day of conversation...and a big welcome to all the new voices.

I’ll check back quickly upon our return.

Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 12/23 at 07:11 PM

Ai, its not today anymore, its tomorrow. I’m heading to bed, then down to sisters for chri- sorry, winter solstice celebration. Shan’t be around for a week or so, soooo, it’ll be just like normal…

Before I go, hugs all round, take care.

(Mudge #7, no sweat about Hamsun, its quite gratifying to “know” that someone who irrationally hated your country was a nazi collaborator bastard. I hate my country sometimes, but at least I’ve been here...)

Posted by Mew on from England 12/23 at 07:15 PM

Mickey, you’re a member of the now-defunct PBU and so am I.

Posted by Katharine on from East Setauket, NY 12/23 at 07:22 PM

Frank’s back and okay now, this should be about it btnn special medicine and food. Man, this whole thing sure wore me out.

About Hamsun, here’s the article Mudge was referring to:
http://tinyurl.com/cywyf

I was a fan long before I found out about the Nazi thing, and I hope his early novels weren’t so influence by all that. I dont’ know, they didn’ seem like to me that they were.

Robert Altman’s Short Cuts was another example of books to movies, though I’m bored of Raymond Carver now. Oh, Luna yeah the end of Batman Begins wasn’t so good, and the Incredibles wasn’t based on any source material but in a way it was a better Fantastic Four movie than the actual FF movie was.

Posted by James on from Hell's Kitchen 12/23 at 08:06 PM

Hi JOS!

rock, paper, Saddam!: http://tinyurl.com/9sznf

i’m putting a film vote in for Le Corbeau:

http://tinyurl.com/7a7cp

from Le Corbeau:
Monsieur de Maquet, (The Mayor): We must give the impression we’re taking action, or I fear the worst

Subprefect: Such as?

Monsieur de Maquet: I’ll lose my seat on the Town Council.

and one for Stray Dog (Nora Inu): http://tinyurl.com/cer44

Toshiro Mifune in Stray Dog

Posted by tm on from in a grove 12/23 at 08:52 PM

Mew: Enjoy your time away. When you return, we’ll wish you a happy b’day.

TM: Thanks, as always for the link.

Katherine: Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’ll make this a regular destination.

James: Tell Frank I said hello.

Night, all…

Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 12/23 at 11:45 PM

Dear “baby” Jesus (as you are often referred to),

Yes, happy birthday, and the same to all other humans born on the day, now, if you would just stop all the yelling and screaming I hear through my walls all night, keeping me up and making me cranky from lack of sleep.

As for this huge group of warm and fuzzy exspooka… ahhh.. exspinda… ahhhh, whatever they be, a wonderful holiday on general principle, from a deep lurker, and the same to our host and his family.

Posted by Peter (the other) on from California 12/24 at 01:18 AM

Right back at ya, Peter...and in case oyu haven’t noticed, your blog (Loose Poodle) is on my link list.

Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 12/24 at 09:03 AM

.” Nobody challenges a prophet, right? “

I think you need to read your bible again to get the answer to that one, Mickey!
Merry Christmas, BTW.

Posted by Jim on from 12/26 at 12:33 AM