Mickey Z
Cool Observer
Thursday, September 06, 2007
"Vote for me and I'll set you free"
MZ, candidates pay a lot of money for consultants, commercials, signs and buttons - gotta generate those poll numbers, and The Rescue Party is no different. For starters, I move that quarters be taped to postcards and advice be solicited from a focus group of one random person in ten randomly selected states, as well as the first three people you encounter at 10:18 tomorrow morning (gotta work on your base, too).
I also move going public ASAP with a purple state strategy.
Lewis Black on “the two biggest groups of assholes: golfers and gamblers”:
- Don’t ever let a golfer tell you he loves nature. There are enough chemicals on a golf course to wipe out a city, and let him hit the ball behind a tree. It’s the oldest tree in the country, been there for centuries. But he’ll wish he brought a chainsaw.
- When you get to Las Vegas, buy $200 in quarters and go immediately to your hotel room. You can’t enjoy yourself there because they don’t want you to be entertained in your room. The TV only has 20 channels and Channel 1 tells you there are 20 channels. Channel 2 is the hotel channel, telling you who the #### has a wedding reception that day. Channel 3 is...whatever. Go into the bathroom and lock the door. Start flushing quarters down the toilet. You get the same result as going downstairs, but sometimes it backs up and you get to feel like a winner.Posted by Zen Prole on from Urth 09/06 at 08:44 AMWill the Rescue Party increase the minimum wage to $ 40,897,673.37 the first year with 24% quarterly increases?
Maybe we should not have monetary systems.
Posted by joe of maine on from 09/06 at 09:03 AMYou’ve got my vote:
http://wdthu.blogspot.com/2007/09/mickey-z-for-president.html
Posted by JOS on from Oak Park 09/06 at 09:55 AMHello Expendables.
JOS: You’re in charge of publicity.
Joe: Finances
ZEN: Campaign strategyPosted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 09/06 at 10:20 AMyou got my vote too
.
Posted by michele on from kitchen table 09/06 at 11:17 AMI see my candidacy has inspired a relentless barrage of comments today. Well, at least my wife stopped by (#5). CHey Bob, cn a fake personality have a wife?
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 09/06 at 01:38 PMI think the new society should have much, much more leisure time...the accompanying illustration will give just one example of how we might spend our time more usefully than devote hours to the plantation.
Posted by joe of maine on from 09/06 at 03:02 PMHey, this is the first time I’ve seen Mrs. Mickey stop in. Can you do the Queen’s Wave, Michele? That alone could be worth 5 or 6 votes.
Now we need to fill out the cabinet. Anyone who wants a post (or any other part of the furniture) needs to watch Our Official Film, a la “The Man From Hope” or that Al Gore travesty. http://tinyurl.com/39flwu
Tomorrow: staying ‘on-message.’ Formal political science is like hydraulics, without all the appetizing smells one associates with plumbing…Finally a riposte to Alison, er, Bob, um, whoever it is. Seems like I’ve been resisting for forever and anon (rim shot, please). Bobison, that clip from YouTube *was* Mickey, except on his book tour he had a S&W revolver and not a Glock.
Posted by Zen Prole on from Urth 09/06 at 03:27 PMGood Evening...I discovered this quote while considering the change taking place how people relate to each other and live differently.
“If you ask, and if you truly listen…
Earth will tell you what she has in mind…
before she shakes her robes…
before great gusts of wind and ash pummel the clear sky...only move a little...she is saying…
I begin to itch mightily.”The Rescue Party shall expedite social evolution!
Free cigars for everyone! [with more leisure time, everyone can roll their cigars themselves]Posted by joe of maine on from 09/06 at 06:25 PMMickey sweet babe: you’re as good as a politician at avoiding questions. Now, here’s my question from yesterday again. Can a fake candidate accept donations? (And please don’t close down the site again for “software upgrades” like you have been, by co-incidenece, whenever I ask these questions.)Yesterday I asked:
Hi y’all. Mickey- how about before you run for politics, how about you proove you really exist. Post up on your site a live interview. Then we’ll know you are real. How can we donate money to your campaign if we do not know you really exist. I’d love to give you all my savings, but how do I know you exist? Has anyone ever seen Mickey Z live? I can not find one live radio or C Span interview. Someone help me here. Thanks babes.
Posted by Bob on from New York 09/06 at 08:33 PMI think I might ask Bobison to be my Press Secretary.
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 09/06 at 08:34 PMSweetie, do you mean me as in Bobison? Bob- Alison combined...Is that as creative as A-storia?? And A-Lay-a? Brilliant. But my rates are high. The deal would be you pay all published story contributors to your books, honey. Thanks for the laugh. And refund all donations to your campaign as fake candidates cannot accept donations....
Posted by Bob on from New York 09/06 at 08:44 PMYou are the only fake here, Alisob. This obsession for Mick and getting paid for things is really getting weird. Not weird in a good way either...in a think about checking yourself into the looney bin sort of way.
Posted by JOS on from Oak Park 09/06 at 09:04 PMExcellent cartoon, Mickey and great poster, RMJ!
Later.
Posted by Ehtesham on from Canada 09/06 at 09:21 PMOK, here’s the last of it: Bobison, I myself, in fact, have seen the author of this blog in person. He exists, and you’re just going to have to deal with it.
Your spelling errors, syntax, and “It’s just a simple question” attitude give you away as a card-carrying member the nutcase right. It’s uncanny, from the guest book at Manzanar to dozens of blogs, how much this lack of critical thinking and basic literacy sticks out on the right.
Captcha sez ‘wacky.’ We now return to our regularly-scheduled radio silence.
Posted by Zen Prole on from Urth 09/06 at 09:27 PMCould this possibly satisfy Alisob? If the link works now, here’s a short clip I took of Mickey speaking at Barnes and Noble last year speaking about 50 American Revolutions:
Posted by James on from Hell's Kitchen 09/07 at 07:50 AMThats a great clip of Mickey,James.
Maybe best to forget about placating personalities like Ali bobison though...like a dandelion the more you try to root them out the more they thrive. He/she is probably waiting to be banned from here so they can whine and complain about it somewhere else.Posted by frances on from bcland of most awesome september days 09/07 at 10:59 AMHmm...maybe James is a fake.
How are you feeling, Frances?
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 09/07 at 12:54 PMFake this--
http://homepage.mac.com/trorb/BikeTV/iMovieTheater109.html
The video of me and my cat adoption story, for Frances, Bob, Alison and anyone else who hasn’t seen it.
Posted by James on from Hell's Kitchen 09/07 at 12:59 PMHi Mickey and James. I am actually feeling better than I have in years. The sun is shining the weather is sweet. I really like my daughters boyfriend. The kids are back in school. My body and mind are coping ok with ‘treatment’. The love and support of everyone around me is overwhelming. Feels like being in touch with a global/universal network weaving of love and generosity...its everywhere always.
Layers of denial and misunderstanding are peeling away to reveal more of the same and its all ok. Its part of my process.Sweet video James.
Now I am looking for proof that Im not fake! Will keep you updated.
Posted by frances on from bc 09/07 at 01:19 PM...and won’t all of those non-believers who question the existence of Mickey be surprized when they find out that NONE of us exist. All of the comments are coming from clones of UNIAC in an abandoned warehouse in Bayonne, NJ.
Posted by RMJ on from Churchill 4 Prez Hdqts 09/07 at 04:23 PMFunny timing on this one. I released it yesterday and now today Osama releases his tape. HUmmmmmmmmm
Posted by RMJ on from Churchill 4 Prez Hdqts 09/07 at 05:03 PMFrances, it’s great to hear you’ve got your natural buoyancy again. Things can get dark. Then it might rain. But even at night when it’s cloudy, the tide comes back in.
I should have specified ‘next post’ for that staying on-message bit for the campaign, but there is other news today. The Homeland Security czar nominee is fake: http://tinyurl.com/2fxsje
Posted by Zen Prole on from Urth 09/07 at 05:24 PMHi Zen...You sound poetic today.
frances...Happy to hear that you are having some good days.
Hellos to Ehtesham, joe, JOS, James, and all others. If I missed anyone, you have to excuse me. I have a Court Hangover. Yesterday I was in court all day. It was not good. The only good part was when I respectfully told the Judge that there is sometimes more justice in China’s Court system than in the USA. And I proved it.
How is Keir? Where’s Amelopsis?
Posted by RMJ on from Churchill 4 Prez Hdqts 09/07 at 05:43 PMEvening all.
I’m a bit short at the moment, so I can’t subvert your democratic “process” with my filthy foreign contributions. You’ll have to make do with old fashioned american money to corrupt your campaign.
Sorry I’ve been quiet of late. A family death has hit me pretty hard. Sympathies going out to everyone who deserves it, and everyone who doesn’t.Posted by Mew on from clophill 09/07 at 06:14 PMHello again, everyone. Nice to hear Frances sounding “up” and Mew sounding “down.” I’ll echo this (line of the day): Sympathies going out to everyone who deserves it, and everyone who doesn’t.
Posted by Mickey Z. on from Astoria 09/07 at 06:17 PMGood evening everyone...capitalism sucks! I hate watching characterless drones hiding behind unethical, corrupt laws written by criminals to protect selfish children in adult bodies. It bothers me to see people prop up a corrupt business owner because they are afraid of losing food and shelter. I detest control freaks who don’t give one damn for the people who are making THEM and the only contribution by the insensitive ceo’s and managers are their insults due to the stupidity and running an organization into the ground due their shallow decisions. Kurt Nimmo’s latest article ALSO states Bin Laden has been dead since 2001. America has been dead for 500 years...we forgot to lie down and finalize the process!
Posted by joe of maine on from 09/07 at 06:59 PMwell at least I can dance while I think about how much it f**** sucks!
http://tinyurl.com/2nupuxPosted by frances on from bc 09/07 at 07:22 PMFrances...28...It’s very nice to see your spirit is up Frances. After reading one of your posts today, my head went to my visit to BC years ago. It was enjoyable, interesting.
Posted by joe of maine on from 09/07 at 08:26 PMCan somebody tell me what “A & E” means?
I thought there were some misses - perhaps only my limits of understanding - in the political cartoons. But there were also plenty of good ones, that were indeed, almost fear-inspiring in their truthfulness.
I agree about the leisure time. As Nietzsche said [Insert caveat here: for all the skepticism the reader should rightfully bring to reading him], the three modern vices are sympathy, curiousity and overwork. I have a bad case of the first. Help!
Hey Bob #10. Mickey’s written several stellar books, “The Seven Deadly Spins” and “Saving Private Power” that I’ve read; and would as much like to read his new one. Proof enough?
If Mickey seriously participates in the political process as Bobisob is suggesting, maybe he can become a politician of the stripe of Nancy Pelosi. Then we’ll have a Naderian paradise!
Zen #23; Only criticism I have of the link is: artistic.
G’day
Posted by Tracy McLellan on from Chicago 09/10 at 02:17 AM
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