Mickey Z

Cool Observer

Sunday, May 11, 2008

A haiku for the second Sunday in May

My whole life, second
Sunday in May: Mother’s Day
Now: Motherless Day

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Bruce Springsteen sez: “Those you are with, in the presence of miracles, you never forget. Life does not separate you. Death does not separate you.”

Post Secret, for Mother’s Day

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Grief, revisited:

As most regulars here know, my Mom passed away in January. The grieving/mourning process was somewhat put on hold when my wife Michele needed shoulder surgery but now, as Michele is almost ready to return to work - roughly four months since my Mom’s death - the feelings of grief remain.

It’s interesting to note how “society” expects an adult to mourn a parent. Early on, I was often asked how I felt, how I was doing, etc. Eventually, those questions faded. However, I sometimes get stuff like this: “I hope the sadness is fading and you’re able to begin to focus on the good memories.” A nice sentiment, without a doubt, but not very realistic.

I’ve talked to several other adults who have lost parents and they see it the same way. They tell me the pain and sadness never fully goes away. And why should it? Usually, the first face you see is your mother’s. The first words you hear are hers. I know in my case, I feel as if I have lost my sense of balance. My anchor is missing...and I’m free floating.

Would anyone else want to share some thoughts on this or a related topic?