Mickey Z
Cool Observer
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Mickey and Sparrow Reach Their Quota
On Jan. 26, 2004, I sent out this link to an article about a looming environmental crisis:
Does anyone know anything else about this? Is this what we need before
people react?
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/environment/story.jsp?story=484490
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Sparrow, the funniest poet/presidential candidate on earth, replied:
my goodness! I had no inkling the age of Ice might be so near.
Sage snow,
sparrow
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To which, I said:
Well, the article was a tad alarmist...but here’s what an activist
friend of mine said in response: “Yes, we need to act as if our survival
depends on the integrity of our actions. There are a lot of alarming
statistics, even if only 1/4 of them are true we better kick ass.”
Digging out,
MZ
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Sparrow replied with a quote and, over the next few months, we shared the following exchange posted here for your reading pleasure. Just click on “more”:
“alarmism in the defense of popular revolt is no vice.” -
patrick henry*
*actually I just manufactured it
Sparrow
----------
MZ:
“Manufactured quotes in a time of great struggle must be forgiven.”
-Jackie Gleason*
*I’m not sure if he ever really said this.
-----------------------
Sparrow:
“Boy, you make up really good quotes, too.”
- Teilhard de Chardin*
*possibly inauthentic
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MZ:
“I am not a genius. The true genius knows when to let a joke die.”
- Piet Mondrian*
*unverified
-----------------------
Sparrow:
“The only joke that can be taken too far is marriage.”
-Groucho Marx*
*unsubstantiated
-----------------------
MZ:
“I surrender.”
- Saddam Hussein*
*hearsay
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Sparrow:
“Yo!”
- George W. Bush*
*not impossible
-----------------------
MZ:
“I expect to be captured just as John Kerry is nominated at the
Democratic
Convention.”
-Osama bin Laden*
*purely speculative
-----------------------
Sparrow:
“Don’t worry, be captured.”
-Saddam Hussein*
*possibly derivative
Ironically military,
Sparrow
-----------------------
MZ:
“I know I haven’t seen all the movies, but I still think Mystic River
should win the Oscar.”
-Osama bin Laden*
*apocryphal
Absurdly obtuse,
MZ
-----------------------
Sparrow:
“Personally I favor ‘The Return of the King’.”
-Saddam Hussein*
*through an interpreter
Obtusely inept,
Sparrow
-----------------------
“Can’t wait till ‘The Passion of The Christ’ opens in Kabul.”
-Osama bin Laden*
*via e-mail
Crucifying dull,
MZ
-----------------------
Sparrow:
“I like all movies about cheerleaders.”
- George W. Bush*
* received telepathically
Filmic,
Sparrow
-----------------------
MZ:
“I’m still trying to figure out how to program my VCR.”
- John Kerry*
* he hasn’t said this yet but I predict he will
DVD,
MZ
-----------------------
Sparrow:
“My VCR is more working-class than Kerry’s—and I know even LESS about
programming it!"-
John Edwards*
*he will say this, the day after Kerry
Politically shrewd,
Sparrow
-----------------------
MZ:
“I offer an alternative to their corporate-dominated VCRs.”
- Ralph Nader*
* to be announced on “Meet the Press” in a few weeks
Politically outcast,
MZ
-----------------------
Sparrow:
“I don’t even know what a VCR is.”
- Dennis Kucinich*
*not unlikely
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MZ:
“We’re gonna buy VCRs and DVDs and palm pilots and microwaves and cell
phones...all the way to the White House. YEEEAAAAHHH!!!!”
- Howard Dean*
*privately, to his wife
Electronically,
MZ
----------
Sparrow:
“What’s a cell phone?"-Wesley Clark*
*reported in the Los Angeles Times
Anciently,
Sparrow
----------
MZ:
“I like the fake Wesley Clark quote best.”
- Michael Moore*
*muffled, into a Big Mac
Dude,
MZ
----------
Sparrow:
“Everyone knows that Michael Moore cannot be heard from behind his Big
Mac!”
- Francis X. Clines, famed New York Times reporter
Insatiably,
Sparrow
----------
MZ:
“Francis X. Clines and his buddies in the liberal media wouldn’t know a
Big Mac from a Whopper.”
- Bill O’Reilly
Fair and balanced,
MZ
(the thread peters out here...but stay tuned)
Copyright © 2005-2007 Mickey Z.
