Mickey Z

Cool Observer

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Cool Observer Interview: Charles B. (a.k.a. Chuck)

(All questions chosen by the regular visitors here, a.k.a. The Expendables)

1. What skill(s) would you teach a child to aid their passage through this world?

CB: How to grow their own food, even though we’re facing this prospect.

2. If you could have a new society tomorrow, how would you describe the relationship of its citizens in this new society?

CB: Amicable, I would hope.

3. What are you going to write a song about tomorrow?

CB: I’ve never written a song, but if I did, it would probably be something dopey, a la Weird Al Yankovic. Maybe a song about how Obama sucks sung to the tune of Cotton Eye Joe.

4. Have you heard of anyone yet having a satisfactory explanation for the success of P. Diddy (a.k.a. Puff Daddy or Sean Combs)?

CB: Nope. I met him in person, though. He was surrounded by the biggest bodyguards I’ve ever seen.

5. It’s time to make a choice. Would you fight or flee, and why?

CB: I’ll fight til I’m forced to flee. Or maybe I’d flee til I’m forced to fight. Depends on the circumstances.

6. When did the first monkey go to hell?

CB: I’m an atheist. Hell doesn’t exist.

7. If you were a stock character in a dystopian sci-fi film/novel which would it be: the overlord, the scientist, the ultimate warrior, the lone explorer, etc.?

CB: Can I be the damsel in distress? It would be nice to have someone rescue me for a change.

8. What food/meal do you make that requires the most effort to prepare?

CB: Green juice, only because it’s a pain in the ass cleaning the juicer.

9. What was your last moment of clarity?

CB: Yesterday, after drinking 40 ounces of fresh juice and getting over the raw chocolate high of the previous evening.

10. Are we all fucked?

CB: No, but our kids are.

If you want to tackle these questions in 25 words or less, please do so and e-mail me your answers