Mickey Z

Cool Observer

Friday, August 19, 2005

The day I hypnotized the NYPD (plus: Mumia and Cindy)

I know it’s only Friday...but I have a story to tell.

It was inevitable: I finally encountered a roving band of NYPD bag searchers in the subway. I walked up the stairs—sweating my ass off, I might add—to the Broadway station of the elevated N/W line in Astoria and there I saw four uniformed cops wearing surgical gloves...standing around a folding table barely big enough to hold a decent sized backpack.

Each of the crime fighters was eying bags as a seemingly endless parade of commuters rushed by. One of the cops, a woman who looked somewhat like Edie Falco, zeroed in on yours truly. Her eyes locked on my small over-the-shoulder gym bag...so I stared directly at her head and did my best Jedi mind meld (or am I confusing “Star Wars” with “Star Trek”?).

“You will not search my bag,” I told her telepathically. “There is no reason to suspect me of anything. I will not be made to miss the train today.”

It worked. Edie’s gaze instantly moved past me as I whipped out my Metrocard and giddily swiped like a free man. There I was, one liberty loving dude on a terrorist-proof subway.

The End.

Anyone else have a story?

+++

For those about to (web) surf:

Mumia on Cindy:
http://www.workers.org/2005/us/mumia-0901