Monday, May 26, 2008
How I spent my Memorial Day
Yet another Memorial Day has come and gone, and our president sez: “No group has ever done more to defend liberty than the men and women of the United States armed forces.” This simple reality presented me with a genuine conundrum. How in the world could I pick which indomitable defenders of liberty to honor this year?
Perhaps I could’ve spend my day in quiet contemplation of the valiant heroes who unselfishly risk the agony of carpal tunnel syndrome as they push the buttons and/or computer keys to launch those cruise missiles into crowded Third World cities. The same goes for America’s many courageous snipers and fearless bomber pilots…all of them using their fingers and eyes to preserve our way of life.
Of course, I could’ve instead dedicated myself to worshipping the gallant warriors who put their feet and toes on the line each time they repeatedly kick a prone, chained, and blindfolded prisoner at Gitmo. (Oops, did I say “prisoner”? I mean “enemy combatant,” of course.) These resolute patriots also expose their vocal cords to excruciating injury when they engage in the selfless daily practice of screaming at such evildoers. One can only imagine the mental strain of coming up with new epithets each and every day-day and day, year after year.
Then again, the epic exploits of America’s latest generation are nothing new. This country was built on centuries of similar deeds and efforts. Remember: America would never be able to spread its values all over the planet without those men and women who volunteer to make it happen. Could you imagine what life on Earth would be without the pervasiveness of American values?
(Think: Henry Miller meets Bukowski and Vonnegut at Sunday Mass)