Mickey Z

Cool Observer

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Monday, December 12, 2005

I hate Christmas

(Yeah, I used the above title simply to see who it brings in via Google. Maybe I’ll even get mentioned in the “no spin zone.")

There’s more “anti-Christmas” hype than usual this year (e.g. http://tinyurl.com/bh7qo). Not content with a season utterly dominated by mangers, reindeer, dead trees, and conspicuously copious consumption, the virgin birth crowd is demanding even more respect. Bill O’Reilly wonders: “Will you shop at stores that do not say ‘Merry Christmas’?” (Imagine if he were this discerning, re: sweatshop labor and union busting.)

To all of them, I offer some Bukowski: “Well, the amateur drunks have taken over and will hold this town until Jan. 2…driving on the wrong side of the street, running red lights, bellowing the same songs. Figs of people, twigs of people, shits of people…MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR. Christomighty, yeah.”

(Btw, I had a Bukowski-related essay—a 50AR excerpt, in fact—in the free NYC newspaper, Metro, on Friday. Since you can’t access it online, you can read it by clicking on “more” at the bottom of this post.)

For the rest of us, there’s fun anti-Xmas stuff like this:
http://www.xmasresistance.org/links
http://tinyurl.com/9ybk4
http://tinyurl.com/dmv65

Have a very Cheney Xmas...

Here’s an idea I proposed last year: If we have to have holidays, wouldn’t it be cool to switch ‘em around arbitrarily? In 2006, let’s celebrate Valentine’s Day on Passover by dressing up in Halloween costumes and lighting off fireworks.

Hermy sez: “Personally, I’d prefer celebrating Kwanzaa in July.”