Saturday, December 17, 2005

“I suppose you think you could teach this class"


The school daze edition of Storytelling Saturday

Once upon a time...

Being the smartest kid in your class could get weird at times. In the third grade, our teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up (as if we weren’t already something at the time). She was writing a list of the answers we gave on the blackboard. After a few nurses and fireman, I raised my hand and said “archaeologist.”

My teacher tried three times to spell it and finally gave up and asked me. I didn’t see that as unusual and my classmates appeared unmoved…but within two years, I was considered a…

Being smart just isn’t cool when your hormones are starting to reign.

I was in the fifth grade and my teacher was pushing me to win the spelling bee and represent the entire school in a citywide contest. She was sure I could easily out-spell even the eighth graders…and she was probably right. What she didn’t count out was the fact that I was too shy to want all that attention (yes, I was once painfully shy and still can be at times). Not to mention: winning the contest would have branded me a nerd forever.

After spelling a few words correctly, she gave me “penicillin.” I said: p-e-n-c-i-l-l---- and I looked her right in the eye and said “e” instead of “i.” Her face contorted into a mask of shock as I sat down with a self-satisfied smirk.


(My most recent spelling bee: http://tinyurl.com/a76h5)

Five years later, as a high school sophomore, the tables had turned. I had become outgoing and was in with the “cool” crowd. It was now acceptable to outsmart the teachers. My classmates often relied on me to play this role so when my English teacher tired of me not paying attention, she yelled: “I suppose you think you could teach this class.” I shrugged but she insisted…so I got up, taught the lesson, calling on kids, writing stuff of the board, and announcing that there would be no homework that night. The bell rang, my teacher fumed...but she never bothered me again. Her revenge was to give me a “99” instead of “100” on my report card. She said it was due to “behavior issues.”

I have a fever...and the only prescription is more stories about school.

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Self-Promotion Ahead


Latest review of 50 American Revolutions: http://tinyurl.com/dd2f2
Order here: http://tinyurl.com/dxk4y

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When is a torture ban not really a torture ban? (Answer: http://tinyurl.com/9pxgb)

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In my CD player at this moment:

Kurt Vonnegut sez:
“In real life, as in Grand Opera, arias only make hopeless situations worse.”

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Posted on 12/17 at 08:39 AM
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