Mickey Z

Cool Observer

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Saturday, December 30, 2006

My father slurps his coffee

We interrupt Storytelling Saturday with some breaking news:

Saddam Hussein is dead...

We now return to our regularly scheduled story:

Once upon a time...

On last night’s flight home, I saw a guy who looked an awful lot like Bob Denver. You know...the guy who played Gilligan.

This passenger was also the breed of Homo sapien who slurps. Unable to muster the patience and discipline necessary to let his coffee cool to a drinkable temperature, Gilligan made a loathsome sound while drinking in order to avoid burning his tongue. I really hate when someone does this. My father slurps his espresso coffee and his soup and I’ve tried endlessly to get him to just let it cool.

“Dad,” I say over and over again, “you can’t possibly be enjoying something if it’s so hot that you have to slurp it. It’s only logical to let it cool, and eat or drink it without making that noise. You might even enjoy the taste for once in your life. Who knows, you may realize that you don’t even like espresso coffee.”

Unaware of my mental musings, the lady next to Gilligan was hyperventilating because every jerk and bump of the plane ride brought her closer and closer to being rushed to the hospital with third degree burns and a future of painful skin graft treatments. For sure, another great New York Post headline:
LADY SINGES THE BLUES.