Mickey Z

Cool Observer

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Saturday, October 21, 2006

Predetermined personification of pulchritude

Storytelling Saturday is a beautiful thang

Once upon a time...

One of my all-time favorite subway-riding pastimes is watching the make-up girl (MUG, to me) in full effect. She is a local Astoria gal, somewhere between 21 and 24, appears to be either Italian or Greek, with long brown hair and big green eyes. Far more impressive than her physical beauty is the skill with which she puts on her make-up. As the N train rumbles and rocks from station to station, the MUG is fully capable of dashing on her mascara, blush, lipstick, and eyeliner with the precision of a goddamned micro-surgeon. Ultimately, of course, this skill is quite superfluous since she does not need an ounce of make-up to look appealing. MUG is a natural knockout with a capital “N,” and like so many of my “regular” train-riding crowd, I have a tutorial about life all prepared for her. Here’s how my subterranean soliloquy would start: “Comrade, by covering your face with that toxic, tested-on-animals crap, you are subconsciously trying to live up to some male ideal of what a woman should look like. However, you are chasing shadows. You can never fulfill this artificial image, so why even try?”

Consider the concept of “beauty” parlors...as if beauty was a commodity to be bought and sold. Ladies like the MUG spend endless time and countless dollars trying to satisfy society’s predetermined personification of pulchritude. They’re told to “dress up” in order to get approval. Also, there’s the evolutionary factor to consider. Our bodies were simply not designed to have chemical-laden make-up and perfume and cologne poured, sprayed, doused, and rubbed upon ’em.

(John Lennon sez: “We make her paint her face and dance.")

There are something like half a million Americans employed to do nothing but style hair and paint nails, and this country spends $20 billion a year on cosmetics. Imagine how swell our nation would be if there were half that many people and half that much moola working towards justice, an equitable social order, and a vegan cheese that melts like real cheese.

Who else wants to spin a yarn?
The comments section awaits...