Mickey Z

Cool Observer

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Saturday, December 09, 2006

Shaping some affluent ass

(Storytelling Saturday has junk in the trunk)

Once upon a time...

I’m on my way toward an Upper East Side gym to meet a client when I see a boy—he can’t be more than 13—talking on a cell phone while waving down a friggin’ cab. “My parents are crazy if they think the tutor is coming with us to Antigua,” he explains to whoever is on the other end. “I need a break. I’m so stressed as it is.”

After a deep sigh, I enter the gym...where I promptly catch a fleeting glimpse of a television blaring a tabloid show featuring a woman with a split-personality who’d been arrested for stalking herself.

As I trudge my way past the women on the treadmills, I’m treated to the daily snippets of cell phone conversation:

"My kid’s tutor is costing me $500 an hour.”
“Everyone I know is doing it. Even my driver avoids carbs.”
“So, what’s he like in bed?”
“My daughter’s pre-school is setting me back $24K a year.”
“Oh yes, I saw her in the sauna in Aspen and, wow, her ass was sagging.”
“So, what’s she like in bed?”
“I’m getting my nose done next week."

Then it’s time to earn my keep by shaping some affluent ass…

Who else wants to spin a yarn?
The comments section awaits...