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Mickey Z
Cool Observer
the Department of Homeland Security.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
The Pope is Dead: It's time for "Generic God"(tm)
If you liked Pope-on-a-Rope…
I see London, I see France…
...you’ll love:
GENERIC GOD(tm)
The Middle East Outreach Society presents a rare opportunity to bring the flocks together. Never again will religious differences get you slaughtered.
No fasting...no kneeling...no unsightly veils...no pervy priests...and best of all, no Pat Robertson…
Ouch
Our Supreme Being is flexible and non-toxic. Here’s what his followers have to say:
“He’s even better than C-Span.” - Toledo, Ohio
“More homogenous than Disney World.” - Paris, France
“I laughed, I cried, I became just another face in the crowd.” - Tokyo, Japan
“Now, when someone I know gets blown to bits, it won’t have anything to do with religion. Thank you, Generic God(tm).” - Falluja, Iraq
If you thought the simple matter of religious choice was going to ruin your chances to be just like everyone else...think again.
Generic God(tm) is the TV news anchor of the spiritual scene: He’s non-descript, he’s safe, he’s just one of the guys and now...he’s all yours.
CLEAR HEAD GUARANTEE:
If you experience any guilt when worshipping Generic God(tm), the Middle East Outreach Society will pay for your lobotomy.
Goodbye guilt…
Generic God(tm) is endorsed by the Dalai Lama, Billy Graham, Elie Weisel, Osama bin Laden, and David Koresh (from beyond the grave).
FINALLY: God is safe for mass consumption..
The Pope is dead. Long live Generic God(tm).
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