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Mickey Z
Cool Observer
the Department of Homeland Security.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Urine Trouble
This Storytelling Saturday just might piss you off.
Once upon a time...
When I was in the first grade, my Catholic school (St. Patrick’s) underwent some renovations so we were bussed to a nearby school, St. Rita’s. Since I lived just two blocks from St. Pat’s, this upheaval was quite a challenge for a Momma’s Boy like me and I knew it would result in problems...one way or another.
At the end of my first day at St. Rita’s, we were reciting prayers but I really had to take a leak. I crossed my legs, did a little dance, and squirmed. Finally, when I realized that the g.d. prayers were never going to end, I gave up. Conveniently seated in the last seat of the last row (where else for a Z?), I looked around to make sure no one could see me. Then I calmly let my bladder go and felt the sweet release as a hot stream of urine darkened the front of my olive green uniform pants. By carefully covering the spot with the school books I was carrying, I managed to ride all the way back home on the bus without being discovered. Overall, an odd but memorable combination of relief and fear.
Moral of this (and just about any) story: It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.
(Post your story—with or without urination—in the comments section)
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Birthday Weekend™ Update:
The excellent weather in NYC has Michele and I spending as much Birthday Weekend™ time as possible outdoors. However, we will go indoors long enough to eat at Candle Café at some point...so we can use part of a hefty gift certificate I got for being a columnist at Veg News.
Broccoli Man sez: Go Vegan
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